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But if it also coincides with being difficult, dating might be a long, tough road for you. The trick to that is knowing how the man you’re with is perceiving you, and being able to tone down or turn off the traits he might find as reason to dump you for someone more agreeable.I used to think this was dumbing myself down, or playing to the masses, being fake, or not true to myself.But there’s enough anecdotal evidence to suggest a strong correlation. And if good qualities come with bad qualities, have you considered that yours might as well?So when I hear a woman talk about how “direct” she is, the first thing I think is: “She’s tactless.” I wrote about this in an article for entitled “Are You Honest… ” Self-proclaimed “direct” people often tell their dates what they think about them even if the date didn’t ask.In fact, all of my female friends comment on what a great catch I am. Women reading this may feel bad for him, yet also want to him to know that it’s not BECAUSE he’s nice that he’s not attracting women. It’s because he constantly seeks the approval of others. It’s because he sacrifices his personal power to be conciliatory. These traits sometimes come with a significant downside that is painful to acknowledge. The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.These are common attributes of nice guys, yet nice guys think that women don’t like nice guys BECAUSE they’re nice. Again, not EVERY person who is bright is opinionated, and not EVERY person who is funny is sarcastic.
When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.” If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. And with a generation of women who pose questions like “Are Men Necessary?
When I am committed to them and act nice and devoted, they start to look elsewhere. Am I cursed to be alone just because I know how to be kind to women? So how is it that all these successful men are not connecting with all these successful women? Because there’s much more going on than merely a meeting of the minds. The flip side of being analytical is being difficult. The flip side of having moral clarity is being arrogant.
Anyway, in short, I need some serious help and hope to hear back from you soon. I’m what you’d call a “nice guy.” I make a good living, I’m pretty attractive, and I treat women well. Isn’t being nice a Men reading this might empathize with Jason. What never occurs to some women is that: They’re being evaluated on far more than their most “impressive” traits. The flip side of being entrepreneurial is being a workaholic.
There are some meetings I can go into and run the show, and others where I have to be subordinate.
So I knew if I could learn how to do that professionally and make a success of myself, that I could learn that personally too.