Why do I feel uncomfortable in the family?
My family has become strange and indifferent to me - depression
thanks for your answer. You asked me questions I keep asking myself. What do I actually want? I don't want any more responsibility, I don't want to worry about anything anymore, I don't want this pressure that I put on myself, just quiet. What if I really go There would be a huge wave, dismay, disappointment, incomprehension from family and friends. And what if I then find that I don't feel any better afterwards either? Our youngest is 8, I don't know how he can handle such a number. From 2008 to 2010 I spent as much time in clinics as at home. It took quite a while for him to regain confidence that I would not go away. Until 5 years ago I loved being a mother and housewife.
If I didn't have children, I would leave my warm nest with all the conveniences and move into a two-room apartment. But what comes after that? My fear is that I will shock my family and that nothing will really change for me.
By the volcano I mean, I would like to see me z. For example, a therapist really pokes at something, immediately picks up on it, pushes me into the corner with questions, gives me no alternative to look away or to run away. Several therapists (and I have had many!) Have told me independently that I am like an eel. If they said they had me, I was gone. I know and feel that something is seething inside of me that wants to get out but can't, that really hurts.
No, I could never really open up.
You write, you couldn't open yourself at first either, why can you do it now? How long did it take? Did you have an aha experience? How long have you been depressed? Do you know the cause?
A week ago I took my heart and went to the sea alone for a week. It took a long time before I had the courage to tell my husband this wish. He immediately said, great idea, do that. It's very lonely there, right by the sea. Since I don't take a car with me, I have to cycle or take the bus 6 km to the nearest supermarket. I don't care about anything, the main thing is calm. I have no idea how it's going to get me and whether it's good for me. But I hope that I can finally sleep properly again.
So, Anima, everyday life is calling, the children are about to get up. Since I don't know if I'll have an internet connection next week, which I hope, please don't be surprised if I don't get in touch.
All the best for you!
23.01.2012 06:58 • #3
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