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So unless there’s some key detail missing here about your company being one of the few old-fashioned hold-outs that still forbid dating, then either (a) your company won’t really care or (b) your ex is the one who should get in trouble, and that might be why she’s pressuring you to keep it quiet.And for what it’s worth, her point that you would be easier to remove from the team if they wanted to remove one of you is awfully self-serving.And is that truly better than just explaining the situation?But if you don’t trust her to act with integrity and concern for your well-being, then that option has to be a no-go.Wait, why do you think that telling your company about the situation would “severely impact” both of you?Most companies don’t have no-fraternization policies. People date coworkers, and sometimes those relationships end badly.Can she really say she wants to move you off her projects without it reflecting poorly on you?
If you do, then maaayyyybe you can give her suggestion a shot and see how it goes.
In a few months, I will be going on vacation to Tokyo with my best friend.
This has been a dream of ours for a long time, so we have a lot of plans.
One of her points is that it could impact me the worst because I’d be easier to remove from the team if they wanted to.
Though I understand her feelings on this and I agree some separation would be helpful, I also want to make sure I’m being smart about this and protecting myself — for instance, documenting/logging this agreement to have documentation if it were ever needed. Furthermore, she’s going to speak to our boss to try and propose it in a way that doesn’t mention the relationship, but would still allow her to transfer me off of her projects.