Dating a woman who has been divorced twice
The only problem is her escalating interest in the cast of a television show, particularly one male actor.It began with a minor interest in the show while we were students.Let her know that sometimes even a nurse defending her patients’ legal rights can be arrested and dragged out of the hospital she works in, and that a child named Tamir Rice was shot by police as he played in a park—that “compliance” cannot save someone who was shot less than two seconds after the officer got out of his car.This will be an ongoing conversation, and it will often prove challenging and uncomfortable.It is worth having, regardless of whom your daughter is dating, and I’m glad you’re prepared to start now.
Tell her how you would like her to handle being pulled over, and also talk about how “acting compliant” is a course of action that’s most likely to benefit someone already privileged, and that “resisting arrest” or “failure to comply” is often used as after-the-fact justifications of police violence.
If your goal is simply to communicate that you two aren’t on friendly terms, you can say something like, “We went through a difficult divorce, and it’s better for the two of us not to socialize.” You may have to smile and nod at some of the same work events, but at least you can let your friends know that you’re not so friendly you’d like to be invited to the same dinner party.
But if you’re feeling a desire to share the truth of your abusive marriage with some of your friends, then I think you can go into greater detail about why you left, to whatever extent you feel comfortable with.
Regardless of what Anita’s mother thinks, you and your husband should determine whether you can afford (and are willing) to help defray any further costs over the next six weeks, if for no other reason than that you want Anita and her baby to be well.
If you cannot afford it, and if you believe it will not put either of them in harm’s way, your best option may be to encourage her to seek resources from the financial assistance center at the hospital where she plans to give birth.