Dating an obsessive man
Your general rule of thumb should be to aim for just a little cooler than everyone else. Go to the mall and have a look around: this is what you’re wanting to stand out from.
Even if you’re just a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy, you can be a little more awesome than the people around you – little touches from shoes to the cut and quality of your jeans and shirt will help set you above the people around you.
If you have a tendency to shift your weight constantly, make a point of leaning on something – leaning up against a wall or the bar helps convey an air of nonchalance as well as keeping you from swaying from side to side. Have a specific purpose to each gesture that you make, even if it’s just to illustrate a point. Avoid hemming and hawwing when you start off with a thought; if you don’t know what you’re going to say right off the bat, pause for two seconds to collect your thoughts. Eye contact is an incredibly important part of attraction.
Stick your hands in your back pockets if necessary. Not only does this make you seem more composed, but pausing before you speak can actually make you a more persuasive and compelling speaker. You don’t want to speak like you’re running an auction, but at the same time you… We all know the feeling of somebody looking through us or looking past us when we try to talk to them – it’s incredibly alienating and makes us like that person less.
Being less fidgety and twitchy makes you look more collected and more at ease with yourself and with the people you’re talking to.
As with taking up space, this helps make you look more confident, and confidence – as we all know – is .
So to start with, get those nervous little gestures under control.
Good looks are purely physical attributes – in men, it’s a matter of facial symmetry, shoulder-to-waist ratio, height and outward signs of physical health.
Fit is the most obvious place to start – you want clothes that flatter and support your body; trying to hide it behind oversized clothing just makes you look sloppy and unkempt. He had a very distinct look – the artful dishevelment, with the pushed up sleeves of his blazer and the rumpled-yet-high-quality shirt unbuttoned just so, the five-o’clock shadow, even the “just got fucked” hair – that radiated his personality.
And yet despite looking like he rolled out of somebody else’s bed five minutes ago, it only takes a glance to let you know this is all all carefully cultivated. Find the clothes that you feel like you look like a million bucks in and it will start to affect your mentality and the way you carry yourself – and these will all measurably affect how people see you.
You become immediately more inviting and approachable when your open up your torso.
Crossing your arms, slouching and curling in on yourself, on the other hand, makes you look unfriendly and unapproachable; you’re putting actual barriers between you and the people you want to talk to.