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After that, have a phone conversation—trade cell phone numbers, never home numbers.

Or better yet, call him so that you won't have to give out your number at all. The Ideal First Date The perfect first date is a personal decision. "You can get a good feel for someone in 20 minutes," says Dr.

"Online dating used to be a strictly matrimonial endeavor," says Spira.

"You'd go online, find your husband and get offline.

"If you don't have any phone chemistry, then it's unlikely that there will be a spark in person," says Spira. Gonzaga, "and since you both probably have to get back to work, there's a specified end time if the date doesn't work out." Spira prefers dinner dates because the extended length can give you a deeper sense of your date's personality.

If you show up and your date looks nothing like his photo––and this does happen––don't run screaming for the exit.

The shortest messages get the best response rate; the reply rate goes down as messages get longer.

This is likely because an initial message serves mostly to make your profile available to the other person.

"The amount of times that people are approached when they have photos is multitudes more than when they don't," says Gian Gonzaga, Ph D, e Harmony's senior director of research and development and head of e Harmony Labs. Leave behind group shots, which can make it confusing for other people to identify you, advises Spira, and choose a headshot in which you are smiling.), but it gives the impression that you have nothing to hide; confidence is always attractive.While the pictures you post should be clear—giving the viewer an accurate glimpse of what you really look like—don't completely discount self-taken shots (the ones where you hold out your camera to take your own portrait).The lesson: Spend time on your profile, and don't stress too much about your first e-mail! Be Direct When it comes to virtual dating, forget playing "hard to get." If someone you're interested in contacts you, it won't pay off to "casually" wait a few days to reply."If you play games and wait to get back to him, he may have already run off into the sunset with someone else," says Spira.

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