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Choose whether the other person really needs to know about the issue, and if yes, let the child decide who will tell them.“Do you choose to tell (Mom) what happened, or choose for me to tell her with you there to make sure that I explain it correctly?First, you are threatening a child, which makes them fearful of you.Second, the threat is usually not something that is feasible to do (we are going home, you are going straight to bed, you don’t get dinner, you are grounded for a week, etc.) What we say in frustration is not only impractical but easily forgettable. You can train yourself to be clear and concise, using choices.Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Instead of cutting off the conversation, you can say, “I know you want my answer to be different, but it will not change”.You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.
When redirecting behavior, it is difficult to know how to phrase things in the best manner.
When I think about all of the phrases, anecdotes, and sayings about the power of the spoken word I am reminded of how I changed my way of communicating with children upon learning Play Therapy principles.
I realize that using Play Therapy based language is a learned and practiced skill that requires time and effort, so I thought it would be helpful to share ten commonly used phrases parents say to their kids.
You can always rephrase the sentence from a negative to a positive, which will correct the behavior without sounding critical.
Train yourself to say what you want them to do instead of what you don’t. Notice the common element is starting with the word “you” and then acknowledging what they worked at, rather than what you think about it.